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Corporate sleepwalkers

Written by Heather Penn


Devoid of morals or aspirations slinking through life

Perpetually high with daily worship to the gods of Xanax and Oxy

Alcohol accompanies; A steadfast assurance at the end of each day

A dear and necessary friend.

Mantra: Feelings no more, I care not who I hurt, I satisfy myself only.


The setting


22-million-dollar Company owned and operated by those we don’t speak of. A nameless dime a dozen corporate conglomerate whose practices bend truth and morals like a hurricane bends the trees. Greed the only desire, an insatiable appetite forever demanding more.


The Xanax haze lingers, mindless, the automatons peck away

Floor after floor of cubicles, an endless gray wave.

Affirmative action quota filled, offering two tokens per floor.

Two dark faces in an endless sea of white.


The Characters


Dave, Mike and Jeff, drinking buddies, their purpose unknown. Spend time throughout the day endlessly recounting their drunken endeavors. X-frat boys with an instant-satisfaction mindset. Waiting, always waiting for that 5 o’clock bell.


The Dave, Mike and Jeff’s whom we shall refer to as the DVM’s, for really no more differentiating is necessary.  Pale save for those emitting an orange hue. Married yet

Unwilling to remain within the parameters. Nights and days spent flirting, reminiscing and

Dreaming of that partner left to bed. A desire for home does not stir, instead a random bar and

nightcap call.  A necessary and seemingly endless libation beckons. Home is laborious. The

plastic wife, the distant kids, he is the square peg.


The wives known as WV’s have names like Jennifer, Nikki and Stacy. Placated with money they continue with the pharmaceutical and plastic surgery mold. Perfection, never actually attainable but instead a deception point for the outside eye. Drugs and alcohol constantly compete for the status of BFF.

Kids, there but mostly invisible except when speaking about one’s own perfect mothering or a chance to be compared genetically to this fresh-faced youth. Sports, music, playdates and organic foods rule supreme. Yet, interaction of smaller versions of self are minimal.


A boss who has nerd issues. Frequently observed in spandex shorts and cycle shoes. He is tall and wiry, each bone accentuated pressing against the elastic prison.


A super Liberal named Wipperstaff who’s always spouting women’s rights and cried for a week when Trump was elected.


Ashley- we can’t tell if he is gay or not.


Guy named Sam who invented his own language called Saminiese. Frequently found speaking

In his invented verbiage.


One cool person who was easily able to relate to anyone.


Bobbi a female OG redneck who drives into the city daily from her farm.


The Narrator- an employee, early 20’s who works at the company because “they pay you a lot of money.” Bullied and insulted for not conforming, not becoming one of them.

The narrator sees the world as inherently good finds it hard to face these suckers-of-life each day. Wonders daily if this is the sentence handed down for graduating college. Other than fellow employees job is not demanding. Ride in at 10 leave by 4, spends 8 hours a day writing the same sentence or playing on Reddit.


Upcoming episodes; Join us as we explore different times in this employee’s life. From the mandatory Mingles Christmas party where everyone gets wrecked to the daily exchange of information on how travel life without emotion, always in search of self-desire and need.



About the author

Heather Penn

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