By Mike Scott
I have never said this publicly before…
My mother use to drink heavily when
I was a child and sometimes she would take
me to the places where she would drink. Tugging on my mothers arm I would repeatedly ask her if we could leave. She would pull her arm back and say “Not yet, I’m visiting still.” So I would sit patiently and wait for her to be nished drinking so we could nally leave. Sitting in that one bed- room apartment on a couch that smells like empty beer bottles, I eventual- ly would fall asleep curled up in the corner of it.
When I woke up I was all alone on that couch, I felt scared and alone. I sat there kind of confused and wondered where everyone went.
I walked into the bedroom to nd my mom passed out on the bed with her uncle on top of touching her private area. This was new to me, I didn’t know what to think. I stood there frozen and afraid to say anything out loud. Her uncle looked over to see me standing there and shooed me out of the room so he could nish what ever he was doing… I didn’t like going there to visit
I was eventually taken from my moms custody and placed into the foster care system. I remember being placed into this one house where an older boy lived. They didn’t like the idea of having another kid living with them and they let it be known when ever their parents weren’t around. I was playing in the backyard one day along the fence with my little toy cars. Two boys began to beat me up and when I was lying the ground covered up they started to urinate on my head, body and face. They began laugh- ing and thought it was hilarious to see me in that condition, helpless alone and afraid.
One day the older boy of the two took me into a room and began to undress me from behind, I was such a little person I didn’t know what
I should have done or what could have been done di erently. After this happened the foster parents decided that I should no longer live there and they sent me away. I think maybe out of fear of being charged or some- thing else…
I grew up confused about these kinds of things and I wondered why I had to witness them. Why I had to see and also be a part of them, why me?! I felt alone for many years, I bottled that pain up and turned it into anger. I hurt anyone who would attempt to get near me. I’ve never told this to anyone for fear of what they would think of me, them not be- lieving me.. I had many reasons to never say it out loud.
Today this happened to someone else. Somewhere in this world there is a little kid in foster care being hurt in many di erent ways. What you see before you today is a young man who is still working through these issues. I prayed a lot through out my life, I’ve learned to forgive my- self and I constantly remind myself that it wasn’t my fault. Please don’t look down upon me for speaking up there are a lot of people who still haven’t found their voice yet. I am speaking for the ones that will eventually be- come stronger someday. You are not alone and you are loved.