Grief: How I see it

Written by Heather Penn

Being handed a roll of paper and tape and told to seal up an endless flowing dam. At first the water surges, endless and unrelenting, there is no hope of stopping the rush. You are weak and tired…drained.

But, Gradually, you attempt to staunch the flow, after all life goes on, oblivious to the dam erupting inside. You begin by taping fragile pieces, erecting an inferior barrier but it leaks, tears and rips apart time and time again, once again unleashing the sadness that is the flow.

Time is not a friend and it slows for no man but with time a transparent wall is built. This wall offers those a look at your false bravado, it enables them to see your “I’m okay” face, though inside that may still be so far from the truth.

Inside you are repeatedly mending the fracturing wall, placing more paper over new leaks and taping, always taping the leaky seams. Sometimes time goes by with only a minor leak, after all the mask must remain fixed…

I’m okay…

But grief… that evil bitch has rooted herself, lying in wait, just under the surface waiting for that fragile wall to collapse and that rush and cycle to begin again, endless…

About the author

Heather Penn

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