The Chaperone


By Solomon Powell

I was a chaperone on a school field trip through the woods of Seward Alaska when one of the boys in the group felt compelled to share a dream with one of the girls. He was able to peak some interest, even eliciting a bit of laughter from the girl. His dream however, became increasingly unbelievable the more he spoke. An epic failure to impress was inevitable. I willed him silent with my mind, to no avail. He was on a trajectory straight towards disaster and there was nothing he could do to save himself short of silence. He attempted to avoid disaster with a change of subject asking her, “Are you afraid of anything?” to which she replied,

“My feet hanging off the bed.” “What about you?” She asked in return.

“He’s done it, I thought to myself, what a recovery! “Now he can talk about how he’s not afraid of anything.”

But alas, I heard him utter, “Toilets.”

“What the…!” I unintentionally blurted out.

His toilet phobia was too much for me to take in all at once. I turned toward him, losing my footing, I stumbled and felt the beef jerky I had been enjoying become lodged in the back of my throat. This proved almost fatal, I thought at that moment, I was going to die.

“Yea,” the boy continued as he and his stunned female companion passed by me falling to my knees in the cold, muddy snow. The two were oblivious to my sign of “I’m choking to death!” Through it all I heard him say, (and I quote) “I had a dream when I was two…” (Pause for effect) TWO! Even as I fought deaths grasp on my throat, I had a thought. “Who remembers a dream from when they were two?” I cleared the jerky but wasn’t quite able to talk.

I staggered to my feet listening as he continued to explain himself.

“I had a bad dream that I was dropped in the toilet and flushed away.” He said.

“Soooo…” she began with a great deal sarcasm. “…you dreamt you were a little turd?”

I thought I better help out here with some words of wisdom.  I meant to say  “Okay you two let’s keep moving.” But instead it came out more like “Bwaaaaahahahahaha.”

I love the being the chaperone.





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